West Side

Got a lot of stuff done today, despite not much of it being actual, you know, writing. I’m still hoping for some wordcount before the day is done. Brain is mush today.

However, I am working in this independently-owned coffee shop in Westlake, and all their tables are white plastic, and all their walls yuppie pastels–light pumpkin, sage, butter yellow. And all I can think is:

It’s like being inside a Mac.

My God, it’s full of stars…

Anyway. This makes me make up Mac/PC commercials starring Starbucks and Mojo’s. Which I should not be allowed to do.

SB: We give money to poor children in Africa. If you don’t buy from us, you’re actually stealing from starving kids. You like kids, don’t you?

Mojo’s: We have really crappy coffee and flat-looking pastries, and, weirdly, photos of hummus on the walls, but hey! We have free wireless! And girls playing guitars on Wednesdays! And we’re looooooccaaallly oooooowwwwned! Drink crappy coffee–save the soul of corporate America!

SB: We are greedy and will absolutely not give you free wireless. And if you like doe-eyed ingenues wailing Joe lies when he cries! on a barstool, well, whatever. Buy a CD off the rack behind you. But when you have wireless, you just fritter the day away posting to your LJ, so you know you’ll come back eventually.

Mojo’s: We play the Indigo Girls all day long!* We put the only power outlet in the place right next to the children’s play area! Which has loud, throwable toys! Because we are so easy-going and up with life!

SB: *withering stare*

Mojo’s: Organic? Sort of organic? Pictures of organic things?

I should not be left alone to amuse myself during the day.

*Not a joke. Nothing against the Girls, I even recognize the album, but there is something in a very special coffee shop that advertises “solace” on their menu and plays the Indigo Girls in their perfectly white interior that makes me shudder, deep, deep inside.

EDIT: EW! EW! Some mom in the play area just opened up a container of ranch dressing for her kid and now the Giant Macintosh Coffee Shop reeks of ranch! *chokes, dies*

Posted in Blog Posts

150 Responses to West Side

  1. sibylla says:

    It sounds like you’re sitting in the Stepford Community Coffee Center, the perfect locally-owned coffee shop for the perfect community. *twitch*

  2. dolmena says:

    “I should not be left alone to amuse myself during the day.”

    Yes, it’s always such a risk leaving creative types alone– they might create things.

Leave a Reply to dolmena Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *