We’ll Feed You, Tiny Tim

Our Christmas dinner menu, for your edification and recipe requests:

Starter: Fried Milk-Soaked Goose Liver and Water Crackers

Soup: Apple-Squash Bacon Soup

Salad: Warm Spinach Salad with Homemade Bacon Dressing

Agitated Goose (hilariously thawed in the washing machine, set on “agitate”), Stuffed with Apples, Pears, and

‘s Madagascar Vanilla Beans, Roasted in Garlic Molasses Butter, with Port-Mustard Gravy and Homemade Sun-Dried Tomato Basil Bread

Dessert: Plum Pudding en Flambe, Ringed in Cranberry Compote , Which Will Hopefully Taste Good, and Pumpkin Pie In Case It Is Vomitous. Either One Topped with Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream. (


Beverages: Spanish (via Wisconsin) Lattes and Mulled Groosalugg (Where Cat Combines All the German and Scandanavian Christmas Booze Recipes Into One, Looks On It, And Sees That It Is Good. And Pur-Pleh.)

Now, don’t you wish you were at our house tonight?

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