Saw POTC. OMGWTFTENTACLES. Terribly awesome. Why are pirates better than ninjas? Because pirates come with a whole, rich world, and ninjas come with pajamas. Plot holes abound, but a Kraken. Ate. A. Ship. Onscreen. Kraken pays for all.

If I am not mistaken, we are ship-bound ourselves this weekend, (there really ought to be an Erie beastie. But a nice one that you can scratch behind the ears) and with any luck finishing the Arthurian novel whilst on the lake. Appropriate, I think.

Also, should any of you crazy kids be attending Comic Con, there will apparently be a big Orphan’s Tales display where you can see, first of all humans not related to the production of this book, the Kaluta illustrations from deep inside the pages. Hee! If anyone takes pictures, I shall heart them most truly.

In other news, I made a “plog” on Amazon–not at all sure what to put there. Any ideas? I categorically object to cute re-arrangings of the word “blog,” though, and I think I hate plog most of all.

There is a lovely review of Apocrypha up in the Goblin Fruit editorial this month–which reminds me that I owe them material. Riddle me this: if poetry doesn’t sell, why do I have an inbox crammed with requests for poetry? Although this entry recalled to mind why I will never have a career in mainstream poetry: I don’t write like that, I never will, and Ted Kooser would never be my friend. Which, gah. I hate that guy so much. Is that clear and simple enough language? He’s like the kindly old grandfather in the Milkfuls commercial who won’t let you have real candy because Milkfuls have CALCIUM and that’s GOOD FOR YOU. Don’t you want to eat good things? EAT IT YOU LITTLE BRAT! Except Milkfuls taste like shit and are not chocolate or lollipops and their calcium content is dubious at best and Grandpa has an MA and no right to bitch about academics controlling poetry and might be Wilford Brimley. Also? Those poems suck, Ted. They suck. They are flaccid, milquetoast, utterly devoid of passion and dull as paint. And you are the most condescending poet I have ever seen or heard of, and if I want to use a word with more than two syllables god dammit I’m gonna do it, and fuck your overalls. Fuck them right in the bib.

*deep breath* Can we have Louise Gluck back? She can bring her umlaut, that’s ok.

Back to the page mines. And I know I’ve been writing about writing alot lately, but you know, I haven’t been doing much else. I promise to get back to things you guys care about soon. Anything in particular you want to hear? Taking requests.

Posted in Blog Posts

136 Responses to Schmoetry

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *