Monsanto and the Deathly Hallows

So, this is just amazing.

The first part sucks, though it seems like standard evil corporate contract sludge to me. But the second part, where farmers who use Monsanto seed cannot sell their farms to anyone who does not also use Monsanto seed?

Who even thought of that?

That is just straight up demonic lawful evil right there. That is so far beyond the bounds of what a contract to buy a fucking bag of seed should cover I can’t even begin to imagine the board meeting involved in that decision. (I often imagine board meetings. In any movie I hate I imagine the pitch meeting. Currently I have been amusing myself by imagining the board meetings that resulted in the Kingdom Hearts franchise. "We need a new Final Fantasy game!" "All right, sure, but what if it had GOOFY in it? And Donald Duck screaming I’ll kill you? "Wow, Bob, that’s really thinking outside the box!" "But we’d also need to have some kind of disturbing message about how if only people’s hearts were filled with nothing but light everything would be FINE, the fuckers. Which is, incidentally, how certain theocracies got started." "Get this man a raise.")

I mean, Wolfram and Hart couldn’t come up with this. The board meeting had to be staffed by actual demons. With horns. Saying: "You know, I know we’re destroying the entire planet and all, and shitting on the entire human history of agriculture, but I feel like we could stick it to the little guy just a bit more."

"Someone get Beezlebub another cup of coffee. He’s really been putting in the hours and I think we all need to take a moment and recognize that."

You really gotta be on top of your shit to pull of that kind of evil. This Bud’s for you, Monsanto.

Posted in Blog Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *