So godlyperspectiv started teaching me to play Magic: The Gathering last night.  The game at which I scoffed mightily and refused to play for years despite the fact that most of my friends play it and I spent most of my childhood playing far stupider games. (The immediate paternal clan is something of an uber-competitive pile of proto-gamers who just never discovered this particular kind of gaming. Let me just say you don’t want to play Uno with these people. Blood on the table, man. Nor basketball, air hockey, Mousetrap, cribbage, the Game of Life, baseball, Mario Kart, speed–card game, not drug–any kind of trivia game from Pursuit onward, etc etc. And when finally, some of them did discover Myst several years back, well, saints and ministers of grace defend us. I will not pretend I didn’t inherit the competitive gene–I too have known the thrill of a Draw Four Wild.)

So yeah, it’s a little hypocritical to happily play things like Dark Alliance and all the Final Fantasy games until they stopped requiring any sort of skill whatsoever to play and became vaguely interactive movies but I’m totally not bitter at all–yet turn up one’s nose at role-playing and Magic. But that’s a console, man, totally not as geeky as card games. (Also, I still think it blows that the game favors the bourgeois by requiring you to buy more and more cards to play the game: everyone plays the same chess pieces, even if one set is plastic and one crystal. Same pieces; even playing field. I’m socialist like that.)

Anyway, don’t tell anyone, ok? It’s just between you and me, internet.

I kind of liked it. I may have even kind of sort of had a dream about it last night.

Dude, internet, I told you not to tell anyone. Dammit.

Anyway, I was reminded of a game we used to play at my grandmother’s house called 500 Miles, which is pretty much exactly like Magic only instead of “Wall of Corpses” and “Pestilence” you can be afflicted with “Road Work” and “Flat Tire.” It’s a French game, so maybe they’re touchy about walls after that whole Maginot thing, I don’t know. But you play mileage cards to advance and the goal is to get 500 miles down the road, so to stop other players you inflict “Out of Gas” and “Detour” on them. It’s pretty much the game of the worst road trip of all time, except you don’t go anywhere and yeah, it kind of sucks, but damned if we didn’t play it like our lives depended on siphoning gas out of each other’s Citroens. Like I said, the nose and the competitive game-playing? Carried on the same gene-strand.

I’m not saying I’m running out to buy a deck, but it was fun, and the bagpipe didn’t say no.

*facepalm* I am shamed, and brought low.

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